Stephen Harper's election dung heap

If you told me two months ago that Stephen Harper would end his his quest for re-election in the gelatinous embrace of Rob Ford, I would have laughed you off.

The Ford buffoonery had run its course, hadn’t it? Outside their tiny fiefdom in suburban Toronto, are there any who doubt that the Ford brand is toxic? Harper himself, back in better days, labeled to Ford Bros “losers.” Surely, with his focus on the evils of marijuana (“infinitely worse than tobacco”) Harper would avoid these poster children for drunken, drugged excess.

Desperation

It is a measure of how desperate the Harper campaign has become in the final lap, that the Glorious Leader would stoop to consorting with the Fords at a cheesy photo-op, complete with Price-Is-Right sound effects. His glum discomfort was palpable, referring to the Fabulous Furry Freak Bros as “those individuals” and “that family” when reporters pointed out the rank hypocrisy.

There is a section of the population that would still vote for Harper even if he was an axe murderer. They have no problem overlooking the Ford circus. As one true blue Tory told CBC news, “I don’t care if someone has sex with a sheep” as long as they cut my taxes.

Rob thanked the Dear Leader by sending out the most unintentionally funny tweet of this long, sorry campaign: “Monday I’m voting for fiscal responsibility, a strong economy & a leader that will save Canadians 000’s of dollars.” Thanks for a whole lot of nothings, Rob.

Lies

Rob and Doug Ford are boils on the ass of the body politic, but they are not alone. The lies bandied about by Tory candidates have set new standards.

There was the ad placed in the North Renfrew Times by MP Cheryl Gallant promising to “Save Canada Post,” this from the party that has ended door-to-door delivery. She even appropriated the logo from the CUPW anti-Tory campaign.

The vile racism of the niqab hysteria brought Canadian politics to a new low. When Calgary Mayor Naheed Nenshi ably pushed back, Citizenship Minister and Torquemada impersonator Jason Kenney accused Nenshi “and people like him” of being the ones trying to politicize the niqab. Overnight a social media campaign with the hashtag #PeopleLikeNenshi brought a wealth of scorn on the Tory campaign.

My personal favourite among reptilian Tory lies and slander was directed at the Liberals, from the mouth of Oakville MP Terence Young: “Do you want communities in Oakville that are quiet and safe ... or communities where a federal Liberal government mandates legally protected brothels with madams and all that goes with that, because the Liberals have promised to legalize the selling of women in Canada. And mandate marijuana stores like in Vancouver where there are more illegal marijuana stores than Starbucks. And mandate drug injection sites with no local input. One day most of us plan to sell our homes; what family would invest their life savings in a home near a marijuana store, a brothel or a drug injection site?”

Damn. There are so many real things to hammer the Liberals about, why do you have to make up this nonsense?

So the Harper campaign, which in the beginning was epitomized by the angry “You lying piece of shit” guy assuming everyone cheats on their taxes, comes full circle to the greedy “I don’t care if someone has sex with a sheep” as long as they cut my taxes guy.

Vladimir Lenin, who sadly is not running in this election, once said: “Parliament is a dungheap. You can stand on it to shout louder but whatever you do don’t fall into it’.” Harper and his crew, through this campaign, have done everything in their power to prove Lenin true. Stepping into the embrace of the Ford brothers shows he is willing to dive head first into the shit to grasp futilely for power.

In Toronto and Vancouver join us the discussion “After the election: the fight against austerity and climate change”: 6:30pm on October 20, at Spartacus Books, 3378 Findlay St, Vancouver or at 7pm on October 22 at Steelworkers Hall, 25 Cecil St, Toronto