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2020: Trump and the aliens among us

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Left JAB by John Bell

January 3, 2021

Hidden amidst the gloom and doom stories from 2020–certainly the gloomiest and doomiest year of my existence–was one glorious, bright nugget. It didn’t receive nearly the attention it deserved. In fact, I suspect it was deliberately suppressed.

I speak, of course, about confirmation of the existence of a Galactic Federation that has been in contact with Earth leaders for years. 

Are they benevolent guides to the future or alien overlords? Are they here to serve man or to serve man in the Twilight Zone sense? Why all the subterfuge, why all the Roswell? Well?

We don’t yet have all the answers. We don’t even have all the questions. But no less an expert than the general who for 30 years was head of the Israeli Defence Ministry’s space security organization has spilled the space seed. Haim Eshed told the press: “The Unidentified Flying Objects have asked not to publish that they are here, humanity is not ready yet.”

“They have been waiting until today for humanity to develop and reach a stage where we will understand, in general, what space and spaceships are.” They are waiting for us to grasp the “fabric of the universe”. 

The answer, of course, is corduroy.

And if you can’t trust an Israeli general, who can you trust. Unless you want him to keep your secret and then you can’t trust him at all. NBC News notes that he is also a “respected professor”, although they do not say by whom. Not by the alien Federation, it would seem, who are still playing coy.

This should come to no surprise to those of us who have been raised to respect the prime directive. 

The professor/general was vague when it came to describing our visiting dignitaries and their means of communications. Are they more Shatner or Spock, or something altogether less in the way of big thumbed bipeds. Pulsating brainiacs, for instance.

We don’t know and he isn’t saying. What he is saying is that the Federation has been in touch with the White House for decades, and has established Deep Space Mine on Mars where US astronauts are working with our alien neighbours. Eshed also alluded to an agreement allowing the aliens to conduct experiments on Earth, which explains such phenomena as the latest Van Morrison/Eric Clapton collaboration. Why was Gilligan’s Island renewed while Firefly was cancelled? It all makes sense now.

Why (according to Eshed) has the Federation chosen to limit its communications to the USA and Israel. Who or what are we dealing with? Are they Vulcans and those blue guys with the antlers, or more along the lines of Cardassians and Ferengi? Evidence would suggest the latter, and that would be a disappointment. It would also explain a good deal about Elon Musk.

While these revelations only raise questions about the aliens and their Federation, they do settle many questions about the past four years and the presidency of Donald Trump. Now, in retrospect, Trump’s obsession with “Space Force” comes into focus.

Back in May 2020, Trump dedicated Space Force in a White House ceremony, with what seemed at the time a long, pointless, rambling soliloquy. In retrospect it can be seen for what it was, a self-styled Buck Rogers casting down the gauntlet before the Emperor Ming, brilliantly coded in the form of blank (very blank) verse. We will call it Dear Leader in Space:

Incredible!

Military equipment at a level nobody has ever seen before.

We have no choice, with the adversaries we have out there.

We have – I call it the Super Duper missile

And I heard the other night 17 times faster than what they have right now.

If you take the fastest missile we have right now

You’ve heard Russia has one 5 times

And China is working on one 5 or 6 times

We have one 17 times and it’s just got the go ahead.

17 times faster if you can believe that, that’s something, General, right?

I just want to congratulate everybody and thank everybody,

Space is going to be, uh, it’s going to be the future

Both in terms of defence and offence and so many other things

And from what I’m hearing and based on reports

We’re now the leader in space.

So we’re doing something that is such a monumental task.

It’s been more than 72 years

The Air Force I believe was the last one.

So we have Air Force and not since the Air Force has this sort of thing happened

And now we have Space Force, added on with full honors I must say.

With full honors.

Could it be that the Trump presidency was an alien practical joke that got out of hand? That makes more sense than many theories I’ve encountered. Perhaps they appreciate Trump for what he is: America’s worst president, but best Dada artist of the absurd. Perhaps in the galactic future, with the passage of sufficient space/time we will come to appreciate his true genius.

Or not.

More likely, if our galactic visitors would spend less time communicating with inhabitants of the White House, and more time talking to real human beings, we’d already be in the galactic club, if it is worth joining. They would meet the incredibly brave protestors putting everything on the line to prove that Black Lives Matter. They would see the passion with which millions fight to save our Earth, our water and our air. They would know the wisdom of Indigenous people fighting not just for land, but for their organic connection to the land. 

And they would witness tens of millions around the world doing their best to protect themselves, their friends and neighbours they don’t even know from an invisible, stealthy killer, even as their so-called leaders abandon them to their fate and plot how they can turn a public health disaster to political gain. 

2020 was a shitshow, but it revealed the stark difference between classes more than any year of my recollection. It was the wake-up call for the disasters to come, brought on by climate change and increasingly reckless and rapacious capitalism. How can we meditate on the fabric of space when so many of us are clad in chains?

So for 2021, will we continue to stand in shocked silence while our “leaders” literally murder elders so corporations can pay dividends to stockholders? Or will we draw the line that says “Basta! No more!” Aliens or no aliens, I resolve to do all I can to make 2021 a year of revolt, of revolutionary love, a turning of the tide. That’s a Galactic Federation worth joining.

 

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